Thursday, October 9, 2008

Halloween Horrors-Zombie






















Next fright film in my series is Zombie(1980), an Italian film by director Lucio Fulci, who also brought us The Beyond and The Gates of Hell. First, a little back story. When Dawn of the Dead(1979) by George Romero came out in Italy, it was titled Zombi. The Italians, known for cranking out 'sequels' and copies of popular films back in the day, put out a film titled Zombi 2, in an attempt to tie it in with the successful Romero film. Zombi 2 wasn't a sequel or continuation on the Romwero Dead films, even though it had flesh-eating walking dead and an apocolyptic atmosphere. To avoid confusion, when it was released stateside it was simply titled Zombie. I remember the simple yet effective ad line for this movie..."WE ARE GOING TO EAT YOU".












Our story starts with a boat floating into New York. There's no one on board...except for a zombie, as the police discover. The undead fellow is shot and falls overboard. The daughter of the man who owns the boat goes to the island he was last seen at to find out what happened to him. What happened is that the island is plagued with the living dead, who like to feast upon the living. Things get very bad very fast, and like most European horror
films of the 70's and 80's, no one is guaranteed to make it out alive.












I really like this film a lot...it's no citizen kane, to be sure, but it's one helluva good exploitation/horror flick. You know you're watching an Italian horror film when you see a) a naked woman go diving, and b)said naked woman is set upon underwater by a shark and a zombie, who proceed to attack each other. You just don't see this kind of stuff in a Spielberg movie, or a Hollywood-made, PG-13 'horror' movie like what's been foisted upon us fans in the last several years. Another thing you won't see in these types of movies, but will see in Zombie, is gore-and lots of it. If you have a weak stomach for cinematic violence, stay far away from this one, folks. There's ascene where a gal falls for the old hand-through-the-door trick, but with a twist...the zombie who has a handful of her hair pulls her face ever closer to a sharp shard of wood sticking out of the door, slowly impaling her eye on it. Nasty stuff. Add to this numerous zombies biting people, eating peoples' innards by the handful, and zombies getting shot in the head or cracked on the cranium with assorted blunt objects, and you have the kind of film that gives the Moral Majority nightmares for months.




The film has a downbeat, doomed feel to it that belies it's initial sunnyisland setting early on in the proceedings. The protagonists soon find that they're trapped on a very bad island, and escaping the island may not be the salvation they had hoped for. The film's score is pretty cool, too, with the 'Zombie Theme", a simple beat with a creepy, 80's synthesizer playing over it. I want to get that as a ringtone for my phone. The zombie make-ups are some of the best of that particular era, for my money. They look appropriately rotted, and most are thin and decayed-looking, with the exception of the boat zombie at the film's start, who is a bit on the heavy side. The gore effects are wet and nasty as well. Acting, well, is hit-and-miss here, as it is with most films of this nature, but it can be overlookedfor the most part.




If you're looking for a simple, gory fright film that goes for the throat(literally), then Zombie is the one for you.
















Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Halloween Horrors-Tombs of the Blind Dead














































As it's October, I thought I'd try and cover a topic I think I am well versed in...Horror Movies. I'm going to talk about some of my favorites , and they may be obscure, but I think they are important, or at least entertaining.


















First up is Tombs of the Blind Dead (1971), directed by Amando de Ossorio. It's a Spanish film, steeped in elements of exploitation and creepy atmosphere. Short and sweet, this film has it all. A gal and her boyfriend take a train, and meet a female school aquiantance of the gal's. It turns out the two ladies had an, umm, experience at school, and now the boyfriend takes a liking to the gal's pal. On a train ride, in a fit of jealousy( who exactly she's jealous of is up in the air, I guess), she hops off the train at a place the locals won't go to( always a good sign to stay the Hell away). She stays the night at some creepy old ruins. Turns out that she's staying at the place where the Templars are buried...the Templars being an order of knights in the Crusades that ended up worshipping the Devil and having their eyes plucked out for it. Their pact with the Devil, however, allows them to rise up from their graves to hunt the living to drink their blood, tracking their prey by sound, since, well, they're blind. Of course, things go bad for, well, everyone, which is what I like to see in a horror film...in a 70's film, you never know if anyone will make it out alive, and Tombs of the Blind Dead is no exception.


















This is one of my favorite films. It's got that Technicolor look to it, and the locations are appropriately creepy. The Templars look cool, all rotted and nasty-looking. The scenes of them riding their spectral horses in slow-motion are very spooky...one wonders if Peter Jackson saw these films, because the scenes with the mounted Ringwriaths echo those of the Templars riding across the countryside. Of course, the acting is not always top-notch, but the locations, make-up, and overall atmosphere more than make up for it.


















For those of an historical bent, the Templars actually existed. They were the first banking institution in the world, and the Church found them guilty of heresy and Devil-worship...although it's been thought that they were just jealous of them having more $$$ than the Church. They were all executed, and their supposed mass of loot was never found...I was hoping to find it when I was burying a Time Warner cable in my yard the other day, but no such luck.


















The Templars would go on to star in three more films, though none of them were actually direct sequels. I recommend them all, and the films are available in a fine DVD box set, appropriately in a coffin-shaped box.


















If you're looking for fun, creepy, bloody, atmospheric , exploitative horror, you can do no better than the Blind Dead collection.

Leif Erikson Day-October 9th


Happy Leif Erikson day to you all! He's the Nordic explorer who found North America quite a while before Columbus did. So, raise a toast to Leif! Hail!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Food of the Gods




Michelle's post the other day about her spice cake got me thinking about food. I'm not what I'd consider a gourmet chef, but there's a few dishes I can make that everyone seems to enjoy. Today, I offered to make grilled cheese sandwiches for my wife and friend that lives with us. As usual, they said yes. I have yet to be turned down on grilled cheese. I don't brag often, but behold, the Sandwich Of The Gods, fit for a Valhallan feast!

I do have to give credit to Alton Brown at Food Network...it was his recipie for grilled cheese that I altered to my specifications that is such a hit with my friends and family.

Hungry, anyone? :)

Monday, October 6, 2008

So Be It

The blood-red sun rises above the mountains
It is time
The hawks circle in the sky, the wind blows cold
It is time
Time to go forth, to draw steel again, perhaps for the last time
To kill my enemies, to see them die, to stain the earth with their blood
There is no better thing
I feel this may be the last battle for me, the last time I ride
There have been dreams and portents, and the seers have fortold
Of my demise this day
I do feel Death behind me, waiting to claim me
He has waliked at my side for so very long
His shadow cold over me
And I do feel that this may be the day that He takes me
If it is so, so be it
Let me take as many of my foes to Hell with me as I can
Let my sword drink deep of my enemies' blood
Let the bodies be stacked high
Let the blood become a river, lapping crimson at my boots
Let my foes tremble at the very sight of me
A true son of Tyr
As I kill and kill again, let the Gates of Hell open wide
Let my foes go into Hell and give warning to the Devil
That I am coming
Even if I am cut a thousand times, and pierced by a hundred arrows,
I shall not stop fighting until all who stand before me die by my hand
Only then will I go
My last drop of blood shed, my life's flame spent
And my body will fall upon the corpses of my enemies
Sword still in hand
Only then will I pass into the dark realms of Death
My last battle fought, my duty done, my task finished
My journey ended
So, I drink from my horn , possibly for the last time
I strap on my sword, I saddle my horse
And we shall see
If the seers are right, and my feelings are true
And the signs and portents and dreams are all correct
So be it
Today is a good day to die.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Reality Tv 'Stars'

Charles' post about TV got me thinking about Reality TV. I used to watch quite a bit of it, then I stopped, because it's basically a) a bunch of people living together demographically chosen so they'll fight amongst one another, or b) a bunch of people competeing over some prize and taking it way too seriously-it's just a game, people. Also, there's usually alcohol around so the participants will be more likely to act the fool on camera.

Here's the main problem I have with Reality TV - that the people who were on these shows are thereafter considered celebreties. What bullshit! Used to be you had to be an actor, musician, comedian, or something to be considered a celebrity. Now it's "Here's (fill in the blank), from season fifty-seven of The Real World!" -audience applause. Just because you've been on TV doesn't make you a TV Star.

Give me a good cartoon any day.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Gates Opened

As I travelled I passed the Field of Cairns,
Where I knew the Restless Dead lay,
Waiting , waiting, to rise up,
Clawing their way out from under the earth,
Enchanted stones no longer keeping them buried.

I knew this would happen, sooner, not later,
For the Black Butterflies, sacred to the Goddess
Who watches the Gates of Hell and the Dead,
Have been flying in swarms each day,
Signifying the unleashing of the Dead.

I am ready, however, for the day they rise,
For the songs of the Tusked Prophet echo
Like thunder in my head, making me strong,
And I have seen the signs, and know the mystic runes,
And my sword is keen, and my axe is sharp.

So let the Restless Dead rise, let them bring their hunger,
Let them bring their anger, let them bring with them
Demons and Spirits that follow them screaming through
The wide open Gates of Hell, let them all come,
For I am ready, and Glory or Valhalla await me.