Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Dear God No!

  The Impalers are the meanest, most dangerous club of bikers in the South, or anywhere, for that matter. During a typical rampage of killing, raping, and beer-guzzling, they end up at a remote house where an elderly doctor lives with his daughter...but just what is the doctor doing out there...and what's he keep locked up in the basement...and just what the Hell is he feeding out in the woods? 

   At this year's Texas Frightmare Weekend, I had the pleasure of attending a Midnight screening of 'Dear God No!', an amazing biker/mad Nazi scientist/Sasquatch movie (yes, you read that right) written and directed by James Bickert, and it was the most fun I've ever had at a screening.  Bickert was in attendance, as were most of the actors (those who portrayed The Impalers wore their colors). Free beer was at hand ( I already had my own, but it was nice to see), as well as some truly cool touches, such as packets of Bigfoot hair from the monster suit in the film, as well as a certificate stating that you survived the screening without contracting any diseases or crabs. These goodies are truly of the Drive-In/B-Movie tradition, recalling when genre flicks would have things like life insurance policies and blood packets to hand out to the patrons. 

  As for the film, I absolutely loved it. 'Dear God No!' is gleefully violent, offensive, and over the top. Filmed in 16mm, it actually has the look and feel of the type of film it pays homage to. And unlike some other films that attempt to emulate the Grindhouse/Drive-In style of exploitation film, this one pulls out all the stops...violence, blood, monsters, and copious amounts of nudity of the female variety are on display here...and frankly, nudity is where most so-called 'Grindhouse' films fall short...if you're gonna do it, do it right, after all...and 'Dear God No!' delivers in all categories.

  The cast is a perfect match for this film. Jett Byant plays Jett, the president of the Impalers, and does a good job portraying a smart, yet sociopathic guy. Shane Morton as Randal also did effects for the movie. John Collins (Collins), Nik Morgan (Spyder), and Rusty Stache ( Jimbo) round out the Impalers, and all do a fine job. Madeline Brumby also gets special notice for her portrayal of Edna Marco, daughter of Dr. Marco (Paul McComiskey), as does Olivia DeCroix, who plays Evelyn Marco...both ladies are great.  Extra special kudos must go out to James Bickert for writing and directing this crazy love-letter to the Drive-In movie in the first place. If you love old-school exploitation/Drive-In flicks, you have to check out 'Dear God No!''s Beast tested, Beast approved. if it's showing in your area, go see it already! Go to for details, pre-ordering the DVD, and for cool-ass merchandise. 'Don't be a Todd!'